I believed in the existence of God, and yet, for the longest time, I did not understand that what Jesus did on the cross was supposed to change my life. I grew up going to church every once in a while, and always used God for what I could get out of Him. Well, that was a trend I had in most of my life before I met Jesus personally. Before my encounter with Jesus, I was selfish and chased my own ambitions and desires without considering what my Creator had purposed for me. I suppose that I never really believed in God and in whom He said He was. I did not trust that Jesus could satisfy my heart so took it into my own hands to gratify myself. The fruit of my unbelief was evident in my lifestyle. My life at that time was full of things that displeased and broke the heart of God. I felt hollow and dissatisfied. Despite all of my selfishness and brokenness, I am so grateful that the Lord gently drew me to Himself.
As I came to college, I found myself at a Chi Alpha’s worship service on campus during my freshman year in college. I saw a sign that said, “Church Tonight” and felt a tug in my heart to check it out. I sat in the back and tried to lay low because I was so shy, but what I experienced that night began changing my life. I saw people raising their hands and worshiping God like they actually knew Whom they were singing to. I felt the presence of the living God coming all over me and my heart began to burn within me. It felt like I was where I always belonged.
It took me a while to commit to joining Chi Alpha’s Bible study, but eventually, I did. I learned so much about the God who created me, and I began falling in love with Him. I also learned what sin was and what it really did: It is disbelief in God, and it separates us from intimacy with Him. On October 1, 2016, I felt God clearly calling me to follow Him and surrender my desires to His will. Since then, God did not just modify my lifestyle to look holy, but He gave me a new heart. Eventually, He helped me even get to lead my own Bible study group to reach and disciple more girls with the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am excited to continue to see God transform the lives of others around me here at the UT-Arlington campus as He did mine.